Impostor Syndrome is Stealing your Money & your Joy
I hope this headline gets your attention, because in my experience, it’s absolutely true.
Thinking about Taurus and 2nd house energy led me to thinking about Impostor syndrome. It’s come up with those I speak to in my work, as well as other spiritual entrepreneurs (s/o to my To Be Magnetic community). Impostor syndrome can be loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud.* If you’re already identifying with this, you’re likely a high-achieving woman (even if you don’t own it!). This phenomenon mostly affects us go-getter gals (lol), and is often more pronounced in women of colour due to racial bias. While such discrimination needs to be addressed on a societal level, I want to offer a few reframes that can be helpful and empowering to us individually.
So so so many people experience impostor syndrome
This whole thing can make us feel quite isolated, especially if we’re entrepreneurs, creatives, or trying something that goes against the grain of our upbringings and surroundings.
The truth is, most if not all of the people you admired have felt like a fraud at some point, or more likely, repeatedly throughout their journey. Even if they’re millionaires. Even if they seem confident and unstoppable all the time. Even if they’re Oprah (just guessing).
I think part of it is a normal, human experience, our brains trying to get us to feel safe and avoid scary things. Most likely, when we’re feeling like a phony, it’s because we’re trying something new, and putting ourselves out there in a way we haven’t before.
For me personally, I have noticed these feelings more as I’ve integrated spirituality into my life and share different modalities with my community more and more publicly (hi! I love you all so much!!). In my case, I often ask myself “Who am I to share this?” or “Who am I to do this?”
There’s no special certificate that qualifies me to help others on their spiritual journey. It’s not quite as straightforward as getting an accounting degree and becoming an accountant. (So much respect to accountants… I could use one tbh…)
What I do know for sure, and what I have to remind myself of, is that what I share with others does have an impact. Sometimes it’s tangible, such as in a coaching session with a client, and other times I’ll never know, because it’s one of you reading one of my blog posts or newsletters.
If you feel like a fraud, I encourage you to reach out to a friend and share these sentiments with them. Scary? Vulnerable? Yes! Yes! But I guarantee your pal has had a similar experience and will assure you that you’re wonderful and knowledgeable with so much to give.
2. The standards we set for ourselves are often ridiculous
Maybe this is just my Virgo/ 6th house placements screaming, but is impostor syndrome not related to being way too hard on ourselves?
If I feel like a fraud, it’s usually tied to feelings of not being good enough, of not having the perfect answer to a question, or not knowing everything there is to know about a given topic (impossible!!).
As creatives, spiritual people, entrepreneurs, freelancers and the like, if we’re doing things right, we’re doing things differently.
Being an impostor means we’re not living up to a certain standard or way or doing things, but what if that doesn’t matter, and what if this is actually our strength?
3. Do it afraid
Doing the thing you want to do and making a mistake is better than not trying at all. Period! I love this simple phrase that Bethany Davis (amazing yoga teacher and smoothie bowl creator) shared with me recently, from her therapist. Do it afraid!
It’s very unlikely that we’re going to feel 1000% confident and amazing when we go for the thing that makes us think we’re an impostor. And that’s totally fine. The most important part is that we’re trying, and not abandoning our dreams because our fear or harsh inner critic is coming out.
I don’t love the phrase “fake it till you make it,” but this one rings true. “Feel the fear and do it anyway” is another great variation as is “the obstacle is the way.”
I also believe that taking action when we’re scared or feel out of our element can become less intimidating with practice. I don’t think the fear will ever necessarily completely vanish, but with time it can feel like a normal part of the process rather than a roadblock or sign that you shouldn’t do it.
4. It’s impossible to be an impostor if you are being yourself.
This one is quite straightforward but a trip at the same time. Many of us have learned in one way or another that it’s not safe to fully be ourselves. This is absolutely not true!
We can get caught up in the way we “should” do things, or trying to replicate someone else’s process. That’s simply not going to work, babe.
We are each here to have our own journey, to figure out what lights us up and how we’re meant to serve others. There will of course be some overlap in the human experience, but you can’t be anyone else and no one else can be you!
More and more, I learn that first and foremost, our job here on Earth is to simply be ourselves. But oh boy do we complicate things!
You are YOUR version of whatever profession you find yourself in or invent for yourself and that’s beautiful. You are more than enough as you are.
5. Learning your unique Human Design & Astrology can help you ground into who you are
Self-acceptance? We love to see it. The more I learned about my natal chart and all the nuances of my Human Design energy type, the more I could accept myself and my gifts.
You don’t need these modalities to love yourself, and ideally we’d love ourselves from the womb onwards, but getting to know yourself on a karmic, cosmic, energetic level can be tremendously helpful. It gets you to zoom out on the minutiae of life and be reminded of who you truly are and how you’re meant to show up in the world. Heck, it can even help you get more aligned with your soul’s purpose. And when you’re flowing in that direction, expressing yourself along the way, how could you possibly be an impostor?
I hope these words resonated deeply with you, and that you are able to move through life and all the wonderful experiences waiting for you with grounded confidence. Let me know if you had any “aha” moments in the comments below or DM me on Instagram :)
